Poised* to become the world’s first billion-dollar rhyming company.
LimerInc.
Introducing LaaS
Solving the most common pain points of wishing you had great limericks coming to you on a recurring monthly basis yet this not having been a product.
Now you can get your rhyme, anytime.
Whether you’re a large enterprise or just starting to scale, we’re your cloud-based rhymes solution with 99% uptime.
Are you skeptical that light verse can generate a billion with a b valuation?
Don’t be. A company called Funko is hovering around a $500 million market cap and their main business is customized bobbleheads. No offense to Funko, we love them.
Meanwhile, poems are valued at a 2x multiple of collectibles according to analysis of the vibes detected by our leadership. In fact, soon a full 40% of all B2B communications may be rhymed (same source).
Don’t find yourself slinging prose in an increasingly poetic world.
It’s Simple.
Step 1: Wait until we get our act together and officially launch.
We are beta testing and iterating. It’s going to be like $5 a month probably. The most aggressively priced rhymes in the industry today, we’ll make it up on volume. Do not forget to cancel and be endlessly auto-renewed by our inflexible system.
Our limericks are customized. Bespoke. Are you into the news? Sports occasions? Or saying, with a weightiness, “can you believe this nonsense?” to your friends, about assorted public figures when they do something, and then returning to your life materially unphased? We’ve got limericks for it all.
Key point: your membership also entitles you to call us, bat-signalishly, to hurl a limerick at the social media target of your choice. Just @ us.
Other thing we just thought of that we could explore is a kind of protection racket, that guarantees you will not be hit with limericks, which, frankly, can grate on the nerves a bit.
Step 2: Once we’re rolling, sign up and tell us your interest-based rhyming preferences.
Step 3: Bask
In an unremitting daily stream of Ireland’s greatest literary contribution but for Joyce.
Step ?: We’re billionaires
We IPO and live limericize the stock market opening.
On the shoulders of geniuses.
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Parker
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Sondheim
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Millay